Wednesday, October 10, 2007

How to avoid awkward dorm sex moments

College is a very big transition and, for some, marks the start of living away from authority (cause we all know RAs don’t count).

This is quite exciting. The freedom is astounding; you can eat whenever and whatever you can afford. It’s easier to lie to your parents, since it’s over the phone. And you can bring that special someone home for a night of hot, sweaty lovin’, provided it’s safe.

But for those of you living in a dorm (unless you are one of those “single” roomers) you know that it’s not quite that simple. I totally advocate living with a roommate in a dorm, especially if this is your first year. However, having someone in a bed 10 feet from you and your midnight acrobatics may not be the easiest task. So, based on my experience and some stories I have heard, here are some thoughts about sex in a dorm room.

1) Know what time your roommate will be home. Freshman year, my roommate’s boyfriend came to stay with us for a few days. I left around 9:30am, with a little note on roomie’s computer: Heya kids! Went to class, back at 11. They were snoring when I left. At 11:04 I unlocked the door. I had headphones and sunglasses on, so I didn’t quite understand until I set my bag on my bed and looked over; as soon as I did, I hauled ass out. The sticky note, we discovered later, had fallen to the ground.

2) If your roommate is a stripper, be prepared. One roommate was a virginal exchange student who was trying hard to acclimate. Her roommate was a stripper (why she was living in a dorm, the world may never know). They didn’t usually have a problem because the stripper wasn’t usually home. But a power outage brought her and her boyfriend from his place to hers for some afternoon freaky-time. I found the sweet virgin slumped outside her room, and when I inquired about the vacant look, she simply said “I didn’t know … that she could put her legs back that far… I mean, even for a stripper."

3) Make sure your roommate is really asleep. Freshman year again, only this time it was me. Roomie and I went to a party; she had quite a few. On the way back, a special friend of mine called and asked if he could come over. I told him that roommie was a good 5 minutes from drooling in a Coors coma, so start walking. I got her into bed, and scurried outside to find my date. By the time we returned to the room, she was nowhere to be found; I figured she was being polite and had made herself scarce. Five minutes later, however, my very drunk roommate, and five other girls from our wing, busted down the door to see our new TV. She was playing host, wearing my heels, her robe, and someone’s “I eat worms” trucker hat.

These are just a few from my memory bag. Anytime you mix sex with community living, awkward moments are sure to follow. Try to learn from these moments, and perhaps share them for the safety of others.
— Nikki Todorow

4 comments:

baller_1324 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
baller_1324 said...

this is hilarious. ive just finished reading your prior postings and i found myself disappointed you've only written for a couple months. and how am i the only one who has commented? next blog topic should be your personal view of the pros and cons of giving oral sex.

nikki said...

Yes, I just became the sex blogger at the start of this semester. I think that a lot of people don't know this blog is here, or they are too shy to say anything. But please, feel free; I’m always open to ideas, thoughts, comments. I like your idea. Keep an eye out, you may see oral sex thoughts soon!

baller_1324 said...

im also looking at personal view of dating those with money, similarities in dating people you meet in the bars and in classes, and personal views of female's mindset on when to go to bed with a guy. i like your honesty and im hoping you dont lose that in the future